Now as the end of the semester rolls by,all those sleepless nights spent watching tv shows and partaking in milk of the poppy(getting drunk a.k.a white boy wasted) instead of reading my books are starting to catch up to me.Trying to go Super Saiyan on my books for the last two weeks before the exams inorder to make up for what was meant to be three months of steadying and consistent hard work is seeming rather fruitless and college will probably do what it does best:bending me over and making me its bitch.Ever been in one of those tests that you knows you are totally gona go tits up cause you didn't study but the first question is expand (1+x)(2-x) and you almost burst out laughing?Starts an inner mono-log with my brain.
Brain:What in Sam's hell is this shit..................
Me:Oooooooooooooh yeah,T told you brain positive thinking will take you everywhere................ahhahah all those stupid lectures about my future,degree,life and blah blah blah.
Brain:Hey man don't be a dick, so what if this paper is easy I was only looking out for your best interests *insert deep emotional speech*
Me:Cry me a river brain.............oh wait you don't have tear ducks motherfucker!
Brain:.........................................................
Me:Hey brain can I have the answer to question number one ?
So you're over question one with God like speed, you are thinking"that was easy now lets handle this paper", now question two is *insert math problem so hard that you have no hope of solving without the aid of the Internet(or some Asian kid)
Brain:didn't I te...
Me: dude shut up!
For those who don't do maths or understand it in any capacity (I wonder how you use money and get change lol)What I just described there would be like getting put in a room with no windows and being told that you are in a real life survival game and to survive you have to complete two tasks of which task one is open the door. Now you are there thinking.
Brain:Sounds simple enough and thats fifty percent of your tasks done, wow we really are lucky.
Me:I know right!Talk about dodging a bullet and here I thought it was gonna be like a saw movie.
Brain:Right leg,left leg,right leg,left leg,lift hand,breath in,grip the handle,breath out,pull the handle down,breath in,open door,breath out..........scream!?!?!?
Yup thats right ,they didn't tell you that task two was kill the mythical creatures on the other side of the door(with your bare HUMAN hands)!!!Then there you are feeling like a stark in game of throne or black guy in the following, heck any one in shingeki no kyojin but can't ask for help since its a test and all.So I will never fall for that again now I only rejoice after I do the whole paper#liveandwelearn#goshhashtaggingissocool#whynot
Guys this isn't me begging for moral support in the comment section below ,its me wasting time...procrastinating instead of reading my flippen books and my brain keeps giving me lectures and showing me images of my future mowing lwans and flipping burgers at McDonalds as way to motivate me ...........really wish I could get rid of that judgmental-preachy prick but sadly without abrain I couldn't enjoy movies like inception or the darknight since they deal with complex ideas and deep psychological themes but rather I would be there enjoying stupid second rate movies like man of steel or twilight.I wont fib though,I kinda want to know am not alone.
This reminds me of my pussy-less yet pressure free highschool days *sigh* you know what I mis most about highschool ?Sleep!Getting home at a reasonable hour and fucken sleeping yet managing to produce grades that wouldn't let my parents consider disowning me for wasting their money. Fusk am really screwed guy I mean at this rateI think I should have just taken the tuition fees in hundred dollars bills and just burnt it infront of my parents at the start of the semester atleast that way they could see what was happening to it you know?
Brain: Dont forget the food and rent costs.
Me:Dude dont be a smart ass.
Brain:Well am a brain so by default am uber smart, any moronic decisions by you only reflect your inability to fully utilize me.
Sanchez:Just for that am ordering a slushy...extra ice!
Brain:Nooooooooooooo not the brain freezer,please am sorry man.........come man be reasonable.
Anyway thats the college struggle!!!!!1
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